One liners and Quotes

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I intend to live forever - so far, so good

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

If you can't read this, you're illiterate.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

He who hesitates is boss.

As they say at the Planned Parenthood Clinic, better late than never

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